In our nest,
Soft & warm,
We are high up
Yet secure
From falling.

It is hard to fall
When you are already lying.

A glowing star
Beams light
Through branches
Twisting & weaving
A mesh canopy of energy & wood.

Peace
Is not
The absence of war,
But this
Right now.

--This moment,
Where the breeze
Strokes our hair
And sings us to sleep.
The mother & father
Of Wind & sun
Watching over us
With gentle eyes.

Peace,
Of our shared desire
To nurture & cleanse
To heal & rejuvenate
To move forward
To be.

Part One

Pull back my skin,
Look under the covers.
You show every vein to me,
As I had remained robed.
But now, I shed the layers,
And I step out as if to let the towel drop,
Like after a hot shower,
Cleansing my body & my mind.


Part Two

A shouting voice-
From within her house, or
From within my mind,
"Get out!"
Sad child,
Strange abuser.
Controlling
With paranoia,
Only ceasing
From tears or
Stolen cash.
You prefer people
Weak and
Selfless,
But that's a hard thing
To get by on alone,
Without ambition for fuel.

I twist in my mechanical eye
To the stave's grooved peg.
Then- stretch out the three legs,
Pulling them tall and
Spreading them strong & stable.
Check the light and gauge the depth.
A lifeless figure to substitute,
To stand in as needed,
Absent of breaths to
Avoid
Fidgeting.
Everything comes into focus--
The fine lines, and
Curvature, of
The cadaver.
It is almost perfect,
A landscape [waiting]
For its tree,
Or a play anticipating
The lead's entrance.
Where is the warm body
With monochrome painting,
(the exception of those
verdant green eyes, and
occasional pink lips)
With the gun cocked,
Read to aim-
[I step in.]
Cool & composed,
I take a deep breath.
With eyes closed,
To prepare & avoid a
Faulty blink.
Not a moment they are opened
That the black ballon is
Squeezed.
The small box clicks, and then
Crunches
Its twisting eye lids shut.
-much later-
I soak it in.
The frame;
The captured evidence of my being.
I accept myself.
All of myself.
Everything to appreciate.
I become acquainted & pleased
In knowing
My oldest friend.

Awaking from my slumber,
Or am I falling asleep
From where I'd been awake?

I shake off the covers,
Pulling them quickly
Like a Band-Aid,
Exposing my vulnerable body,
Heated from my next,
To the cold world
Wither her unknown day-
A mystery to yet unfold.

I rise like a sun
Shedding light through
My fingertips
As I stroke the wall.

I check my reflection
In the silver glass.
This doppelganger can't possibly be me...
I stare her down to be certain.

To the right, I slide open the closet,
Unearthing layers...
It's peculiar that we dress in things
Other than our own skin.
That we don't know what our eyes look like.
We forget;
Adding one more stranger
To the list of unrecognizable faces.

Let the light shine through the window,
Reflecting on the walls.
Pull open the blinds,
And shed some sun on your face.

Golden warmth penetrating your cheeks
As opposed to the negative energy that seeps under your skin.

Where do we begin?
And where do we continue?
How does one sort what to keep
And what to discard?

Your tired smile longs to retire,
But your heart wishes to run free
On endless fire
Warming the troubled with your essence.

You always give, even when you have little.
I admire your passion, reaching out
And wrapping like arms of fresh green branches.

Deep carvings into the surface,
People seem to pay
More attention to the impressions
Than to the wood itself.

Yet the wood is dense & durable;
Reliable, trusty.
Though prone to dents,
A beautiful stain
Made up of life's chapters
Colors all sides.

It is no object,
But a living thing,
Born of a tree
That sprouted from the earth
Out of the dirt & worms.

It shot up towards the sky & planets
Crying out for-
Aiming for the great bodies
That harbor mystery & astrologies.

This wood once bore swollen fruit,
That hung like balloons,
Waiting
To rise up.

This wood is art,
Shaped and sanded from experience-
To function as beauty
To function as charity.

It is not a statue of laziness.
It is not a tool of greed.
It is transforming.

Forgive thyself for the unforgettable

Dissecting under the magnifying glass,
Poking and prodding,
Looking for answers,
But there is no why
(or why not).
Those are the wrong questions to ask.
I just am.
My feelings just are--
Raw, unapologetic,
Burning green fire,
Hissing emotive logs,
fueling my essence.
My passion
Rising
Every rising
As smoke & glowing ash--
A gift to the world
to not return or recant.
My spirit flies freely
Forever floating forward.

I planted the seeds.
I watched them sprout and then grow.
I saw them eaten.

I'm sitting right near you,
So close, yet alone.
Your wooden eyes glance at me
Seeping sweet sap--
I take it all in.
Two magnets separated by a wall.
My body wants to leap inside yours.
It would like to pull into you,
Not stopping at touch alone,
Until rules of physics are broken
And our two jars become one bit pot,
Collecting the rain--
Sweet water & liquid life
Filling with future memories & shared secrets.
My sun.
My song,
That sings in my head every night I sleep.
My breath,
That comes coolly through the window on hot, ruminating nights.
My water,
That aides my thirst,
That twirls & dances,
Until it becomes blood passing through my veins & heart.

I'm trying so hard to know you
And not let you just disappear,
But all of the hurt and pain remain
Because the love is still there.

A midnight experiment,
To see if I can still feel.
With an eclipsed moon
Red like lambrusco,
I could feel and hear my blood
Racing and pounding in my ears.

We pooled together our loneliness.

I'm not sure if I resurrected human compassion
In just an hour of dreaming,
Or if I made things worse.

You were always the sensible one,
Able to detach emotions from your reasoning.

He really broke me.
Then she broke me.
Since then I've been floundering.
I'm young, but I'm most afraid that I've missed my chance.
I feel like I'm still waiting for my life to begin.
With each day, I grow more anxious.
It gets unbearable.
And I hate crying at home.
It echoes--in the shower.
In bed, it's hot against my pillows, and I can't breathe.
I used to in my car, but now I park outside.

I can hear
the silence,
it's deafening.

I can feel
my body
throbbing.

My body is beating.
My heart is beating.
My heart is alive.