Damp earth, warm
Yet cool to touch the air--
And my chest feels heavy.
I feel your ghost weighing on my chest.
Little bodies squeek & sing,
And I feel like screaming.

My skin is on fire from the Spring air,
Burning with the atmosphere of rebirth
Because I feel nothing--
But dead branches & phantom limbs
Of where you once were
Attached to me.

Rumination on the past serves little purpose
When compared to feeling the experience and moving forward.
Worrying about the future prepares some,
But not enough to outweigh the anxiety that comes.

Move & remember to keep breathing.
Live & remember to keep feeling.
That way, if I  die,
I won't have seen it coming,
And time will not have been wasted.

Build a house in the present.
Remember to compost memories
So that new life may bloom.
Water the seeds & watch them grow,
Don't wait until tomorrow
To see them sprout.

With a drought and the bees suffering,
Apple crops diminished by eightfold.
Despite the shortage in Michigan,
The Buddhist temple is abundant--
Enough to have a box offering
Of honeycrisps to give away.
I, myself, take two.
Likewise, when I thought all my love had gone,
I somehow find parts of me to share
Selflessly with you.
I know the custom across the sea.
Must I offer myself to you three times
Before you accept me?

I've been living in poverty,
Starving for your words--
Though I didn't know it yet.
Your words haunt me
Before you've even left.

When we're in the same room,
Why is it that I'm asking myself,
"Are we in the same place?"

I told you last week:
"Tomorrow is not something you walk into
But a doorway you stand in.
The second each moment comes,
It is going."

So why am I not listening to myself?
The trouble is I am--
Listening too much to myself
And all sides.

I'm not in the moment when we are apart.
I'm ruminating,
Thinking & not feeling.
This is the dilemma I have when I am alone.

So it seems we should probably see more of each other.

1:25 a.m.

You don't feel it here,
You don't feel it there,
But maybe home is not a location.
Did you feel it with me?
Do you feel at home with me?